With Fitbits ready to track all of their bits, first generation iPods safely cuffed to their arms, and jock straps firmly strapped (and stuffed), Colette and Olivia are ready to put the leisure back into #athleisure and subtract the health from health goth. While your mom is elbow-deep in a vat of guacamole and spray cheese trying to build a to-scale recreation of Maroon 5 performing at the Super Bowl, join the ITWAN ladies at the iconic Stonewall Inn as they talk about the one thing that Olivia is always trying to talk about and the one thing that Colette has been trying to avoid ever since splitting her pants during the kickball tournament in first grade: SPORTS! Bring tearaway pants and watch your electrolyte levels because things are going to get super high-octane for about one minute and then we're going to ask sit out because we have "women problems."
Tickets will be on sale at the door for $5 cash or any merch, documents, or body parts signed by all members of the 2012 US Women’s Olympic soccer team. Seating is first come, first served, with the entire front row being reserved for worked-up dads who keep pacing back-and-forth and ripping their hats off their heads and shouting about how “the ref” is a “goddamn ignorant fuckhole” There’s a two-drink minimum, cash or card, and all beverages will be served in a dirty cooler and poured over your head by really hyped straight men.