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I Think We're Alone Now Learns About Money!

  • The Stonewall Inn 53 Christopher Street New York, NY, 10014 United States (map)

With their French manicures slowly drying and an email from their “lawyer” (RobertDelanoJustice@earthlink.com) that declares that they are, in fact, very rich German heiresses, Colette and Olivia are fully prepared for the Summer of Scam. It’s Pride, honey, and these gorgeous grifters are hacking into every heterosexual’s Venmo account and taking what is theirs!!!! (i.e., stealing funds to get themselves some Swarovski belly chains… They’re gonna be the blingiest babes at Jacob Riis!) Cash rules everything around us and the ladies of ITWAN have something to say about it - join them at the iconic Stonewall Inn as they talk about the only thing that keeps them up at night (besides every mistake they’ve made from 2000 to 2012), MONEY. They may not know how taxes work or really understand what communism is but they voted for Bernie Sanders so get off their backs! Spend your SATURDAY (yes this show is on Saturday - crazy things happen during Pride!!) with these legends of the “price: low to high” button. It may be all about the Benjamins but these Betties are gonna give you ev-e-ry-thing. (Metaphorically. They’re keeping all their stuff.) (Fuck off, Marie Kondo.)

Tickets will be on sale at the door for $5 cash and guys, seriously, we need that money - we have so many student loans. As this point Sallie Mae is gonna be our Sallie Bae until we are in our early fifties. OUR. EARLY. FIFTIES. Seating is first come, first served, because this is AMERICA and you gotta PICK YERSELF UP BY THE BOOT STRAPS and FIGHT FOR WHAT YOU WANT. (Please don’t fight at our show. Every part of us is soft & bruises easily.) There’s a two-drink minimum, cash or card.