Because the world is on fire (both literally and figuratively), the ladies of ITWAN thought it was only right to dedicate an entire show to the gal who has been helping them get through this incredibly trying time and also college and also high school and also more than a few weird nights in Bushwick bars and also, if they’re being honest, a couple of Saturday mornings where nothing else was going on really but that’s fine, it’s not like they have a problem or anything, come on - DRUGS! So fill that cute pill organizer that you bought on Etsy with your favorite supplements and tell those cool teens slouching on the corner that you don’t smoke weed, you smoke clowns like them on the b-ball court.
Tickets will be on sale at the door for $5 cash or the name of your cousin’s guy who has access to a fucking gnarly strain of indica called “ “ that will literally. Seating is first come, first served, and you should probably watch where you walk because I heard this dude’s friend of a friend’s cousin is coming and he dropped LSD once and now think he’s a glass of Oatly oatmilk and he freaks out anytime he passes a latte machine or a white woman with gluten-intolerance. There’s a two-drink minimum, cash or card, and remember, as the old saying goes - “Beer before liquor, never been sicker; liquor before beer, you’re going to ask the DJ to play Ariana Grande’s “thank u, next” at least 5 different times, even after he tells you that he doesn’t have the track, and you’ll start shouting “wow - wow - ok, wow” really loudly during each song that isn’t Ariana Grande and your friend will try to get you to drink some water and you’ll be all “oh my god, I’m not even drunk, Alison, why don’t you go fuck water? Why don’t you go just do that, Alison? If you love water so much, why don’t you get it naked and like, do it, just do it with water?” And then you’ll start crying and somehow find your way to a dollar slice shop where you’ll flirt with a framed photo of the Brooklyn Bridge before falling asleep in an Uber pool."